Not Me...Tuesday!

1. I'm so glad that I did not find my baby eating -- rather sucking -- toothpaste the other day. I've taught my 4-year-old to carefully place the cap back on the tube (certainly not in the bathtub), put the tube back in the cup (definitely not on the floor) so that his brother doesn't suck on the open end of the Fresh Mint Flouride Crest Toothpaste. I'm so glad that didn't happen to me.

2. I also am so glad that I didn't find my 4-year-old doing the "underwear dance" again while he was supposed to be putting on his clothes for the day. Thankfully, he grew out of that silly stage long ago. I would be aghast if that were my child. How strange and inappropriate.

3. I'm so glad that I don't find my baby boy eating off the floor after he just finished a meal! Ha! As if there were anything on the floor for him to eat, anyway! My house is always clean and tidy, and I am a stickler for germs and disgusting habits.

4. I would like you all to know that I am not spoiling my children. I certainly did not buy my child a store-bought Halloween costume (an astronaut, in fact), because I am extremely frugal and do not waste money on frivolous things such as that. After all, how long are they going to be able to wear it, anyway? I am a Super Mom and will hand-make a costume he will love, will look great, and cost under $5 (made with things found around the house).

5. I certainly didn't raid my son's piggy bank for money the other day. And, I do not currently owe him $30. I am always prepared when going grocery shopping. On that same note...

6. I did not go out to eat with the church ladies the other night and forget all form of payment. I, again, am fully prepared and sharp as a tack. I did not have to request money from my friend and pastor's wife, to cover my expenses. I would never be caught in a predicament such as that.

7. Finally, I was not told by our pastor that my son bossed the kids on the way home from the Pumpkin Patch the other day. I was not informed of his "coaching" and warnings of "telling your Mommy when we get back!". That would not be my child. Oh, no, no, no. I have taught him to be polite and pleasant at all times, and he is sure to obey that instruction.